Both ends of the knife - 8

            We drove in his car, it was Hyundai Accent, the car i dreamt of owing some day, but somehow decided otherwise today. I felt an ego burning inside me. I didn't want to give her what her dad had already given her. She used to always boast to me about how good her dad was to her and how she always got what she wanted, nothing more or nothing less. Whenever i hear such talks i hear a sense of jealousy inside me, coz i wanted her to be even happy only because of me. That’s my nature. I am really really possessive about her, coz i don't possess anything else in this world. So decided it had to be a benz. Well all these apart, I have still having butterflies under my stomach coz i saw a brand new gun under his shirt. I thought he might have bought it today just to finish me off. And after around half an hour we stopped at a old guest house. A typically setup for a typical ending i thought.
            All along the journey I never spoke with him nor did he. We both kept hearing to some RJ talking about something like how to correct a girl in a radio channel. Felt like killing him coz he told most of the things like buying frequent gifts and always saying yes and ok to all her orders, and of course telling I loved her like hell at least hundred times a day. I felt only the last part quite easy and even I felt I should tell it once in every second. Anyways I was walking with him for fifteen minutes all along vegetation full of pine trees and a lonely house at the other end welcomed us. Felt like some place in the Tamil movie oomai vizigal. I wondered how many lives the pine trees took for manure. Finally when we reached that house, I was bit relieved because there were five more officers. I was happy that at least five can see me dying for my love. I was carried over to a room in first floor. It was not a room but an office cabin. It has a cool system(PC), a drawing board and a couple of furnitures like sofa and tables and it had around seven chairs. Felt they had planned it too meticulously. But after a while only her dad came and he had a small file in his hand. I was perplexed. The first thing he asked me was, ”Would you like to have anything to drink?” I was thirsty so I just told anything cold will be ok, he called him suborderly and when he came back he just passed me a tin. Whew, it was kingfisher beer. Well, I was not used to drinking yet. So I just told him, I don’t drink these. For the first time he smiled and said that he won’t tell his daughter. I was like even more shocked, but recovered soon and told him that I didn’t get used to all this yet and took a mountain dew that the suborderly had brought. Her dad sipped a beer and asked me how I was. I never knew he would even know me for that matter so I was confused what should be the reply for the question. I told I am very fine. Then he gave me that file and asked to tell who was there in the photograph in the front page of that file. It was my dad. And what more revealing for me was the name that had presided my dads photo. It was “Director Head, shimoga operations Late Mr. Shankar Prasad”.

              At first I thought it must be a joke. I had read most of Jeffrey Archer to be completely shocked by this. There were many like this before. But most of it was like FBI, Russian Intelligence. I never thought our CBI had even official members of the calibre of FBI or CIA. When official agents were far and few in this country, I thought there wouldn’t be these unofficial agents who were mocked up as working in some banks and worked as undercover agents. In my dad case it can’t be specifically true coz I had gone to his office many times and met many. Somehow reading my mind, her dad began to speak, I saw his eyes losing that smile that had appeared few minutes back. “ Often people think that CBI is more a joke than a profession. They think all that we do is find about the illegal properties of the opposition party leaders in each term and release them the other term as they will become the ruling party. They think the security of this nation is a joke. Rookie reporters often take some small yellow bags and keep them inside a car in the name of sting operations and then publish in their channels that the police couldn’t detect them and the nations security is a big joke. What they forget is they can see a bomb explosion once in a month but we stop hundreds daily. A country like US has to give protection to its rookie involuntaries and only external threats. But India as a nation has an image before all and most of the other countries often praise that India is the centre of all nations. Its not the case yet but its threatening to become one and these countries cant digest that. When in unidimensional countries like the US you can only invade or destroy them through external forces but in a country as diverse as India there is no need for external sources. Most countries in their own way try to exploit the population that they can cover and turn them against our own nation. Our government though they have a little knowledge of all this prefers not to raise an alarm bell coz that could stop their ruling regime. Thousands of us work to stop all these forces officially and even more unofficially. They are not full time operators but they do this as part of their daily lives. They live like common men, do all their actions but behind all this they keep an eye on all the things surrounding them and this is how we still manage to stop the mass destruction that was bound to destroy our country way back. A lot many have given their lives for this noble cause. Not only they will not be recognized for their efforts but also they won’t even be remembered by any. But the thing that keeps these people going is they are not doing it for recognition, they are doing it for their nation. You don’t expect to be rewarded for taking care of your mom. That’s how important this nation is to people like your dad and me”. Though most of his words were like bringing me to some realization the last few words brought a chill wind in my spine. I felt for the first time that I am missing a lot of my dad…


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